After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
