Is it normal to miss your booty call?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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