And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
