I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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