I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
