Someone shit on the floor
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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