I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
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I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
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I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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