I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
