My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
