Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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