I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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