is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Randomize
