We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
This is the high leading the old right now
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
