This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
