it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize