is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
