she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
