you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
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Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
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How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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