yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
even my farts smell like vagina
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
