is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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