my mouth tastes like poor choices
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
