Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
