i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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