Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
