Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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