yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
we're making bets on your personal life
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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