The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
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she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I just had sex on a roof
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize