he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
