U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
