But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
