So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
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