Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
