I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
