is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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