That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
33 Sex Crazed People That Are Going Balls Deep
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
21 Family Members Confess The Creepiest Things They Know About a Relative
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.