p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
This house was built for laser tag.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders