So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
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I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
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Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.