Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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