you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
