porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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