Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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