wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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