Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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