Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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