So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
