Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
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