I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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