That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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