he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I wish i was in the wii world.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
