We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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