I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Randomize
