I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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