Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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