Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
