Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize