She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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