if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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