she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
