if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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