next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I want you more than these girls want KFC
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
