I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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