You don't have asthma, your pregnant
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize