I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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