He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
