I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
