You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
