Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
