Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
