i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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