You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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