woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
