Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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